Improving The Scenery With Killer Compliments
Some time ago I was going to the doctors office and was pleasantly surprised by one of the new nurses. The young lady checking me in, Natalia, was a cute, early 20’s blonde with no (visible)tattoos, very tasteful makeup and a very pleasant attitude. Being a married Christian man I am in no way wanting to be disloyal to my wife by pursuing other women. However I couldn’t help but appreciate effort she put into making herself presentable and really enjoyed my professional interaction with her. I hope that more women emulate this behavior for the sake of my son. I believe that us men can play a role in encouraging this better behavior.
The Manosphere has almost universally decried the declining state of western (particularly American) women. While Natalia was originally born in Russia she had lived in the US since she was 10. She has had much exposure to American media and pop culture yet seemed to come out relatively wholesome. While other bloggers have (perhaps rightfully) called for men to fat shame obese women, mock tattoos and eviscerate Thottery I find this solution to be somewhat incomplete if we hope to improve the general state of women for our posterity.
While direct confrontation techniques do have their place there are many times when a man cannot feasibly do them. Watching your otherwise beautiful coworker mutilate her ears by putting in gauge earrings may be gross. Having to deal with an HR complaint at your corporate job for sexual harassment when you call out said behavior is far worse. Unfortunately most of us (especially in our 20’s and 30’s) rely on the corporate structure for our income making the negative approach extremely risky. As much as many bloggers claim not all of us are cut out to be digital nomads. Instead we can strive for delivering the killer compliment, which can be deployed in a far wider range of situations. Even if not used for game purposes it can be useful in a professional setting for building rapport with females for getting favors.
How to land a killer compliment
First you need to pick your recipient. I shouldn’t have to tell you to avoid any girl with unnatural hair color, morbid obesity, tattoos, piercings outside of the ears, etc. Look for the girl who appears somewhat shy, otherwise in good shape, dressed decently and well kept but not slutty.
Next find something the girl does that you find pleasant. Typically that should be a something that accentuates physical attractiveness such as clothes or makeup. For example Natalie wore a nice gold eye shadow that complimented her blonde hair. Maybe the secretary Maria opted for a sundress and heels instead of her typical khakis and polo shirt. Maybe Kara the nurse decided to let her hair grow longer and fuller.
In all of these cases, articulating and complimenting the action reinforces the behavior. When Maria finds that her sundress was well received she may opt to buy more dresses and wear them more often. Natalie may spend the extra few minutes getting ready to apply tasteful makeup and Kara decides to keep her hair long and beautiful.
The manosphere correctly criticizes the over worship of women and thirsty beta male orbiting. While this is indeed a problem my approach differs substantially. Beta male orbiting occurs when low SMV men insert themselves in a woman’s life and try to extract attention for their worship. The beta male never criticizes the woman for fear of rejection but will almost universally praise the woman regardless of her behavior. The cute girl in freshman accounting class may have become a whale by putting on the freshman 15 30 but her gaggle of orbiters are still lavishing her praise and affection. Little do they know she’s blowing the entire pledge class at the Sigma Alpha Lambda house while standing the orbiters up to hang out.
Conversely an alpha man has the balls to do a cold approach to the Keri the store clerk and compliment her hair. All the while he avoids orbiting her as he compliments Sarah the next class for losing the freshman 30 and regaining her cheerleader body of a few years ago. By resisting oneitis and generally avoiding Beta orbiting behavior a man can successfully coach women to improve themselves. While not technically game per se this exercise can easily transition into game if the woman is receptive to your compliment. If anything this exercises your wits and sharpens your mind for future pick up opportunities.
As a married man
There is another dynamic of complimenting women that is useful for married men. Manosphere content writers often decry marriage as a death sentence for sex life and male growth. It doesn’t have to be that way by maintaining proper frame and game. Again I do not advocate for infidelity or lusting after other women but I recognize that proper psychological operations are helpful in keeping a relationship alive. Complimenting a woman, especially with your wife present, signals that you have standards and are in a position to judge. When your wife sees that you still have high SMV she will act accordingly with fewer shit tests and better upkeep of herself. Also in reality improving your SMV is really honoring your wife as your own personal brand is tied to your wifes brand. If you are a loser your wife is the one married to a loser. If you are a real gentlemen your wife will have a raised status.
The positive compliment challenge.
As alpha (or aspiring) men we should resolve to compliment good female behavior daily. This is not to be done via social media lest we perpetuate the InstaTHOT culture. Nor should this be given to the same woman all of the time lest you show thirst. However occasional in-person observations and compliments will be far more effective in incubating the behavior that we desire from females as a whole. So keep your eyes open, Look for the positive aspects of women whether that be the secretary at work, the cashier at the gas station, or the girl at church. If you seem to lack prospects perhaps you need to get out more.